


Can't Let Go

by thehopelesswriter



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Accident, Amnesia, Angst, Bar, Car Accident, Comfort, F/M, Hurt, Pool, dean amnesia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-02
Updated: 2018-07-02
Packaged: 2019-06-01 09:49:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15140492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thehopelesswriter/pseuds/thehopelesswriter
Summary: After Dean got into a car accident, he suffered from a retrograde amnesia, making him unable to remember anything from before the event. You, along with Sam and Bobby, decided to let Dean be happy and get a life outside this dangerous life. But it seems that you can’t move on from your boyfriend.





	Can't Let Go

**Author's Note:**

> This one-shot is based on a song ‘Green Light’ by Lorde. I didn’t use any lyrics from the song but hid a few references in the here so feel free to comment what you think those references are.

The whiskey you drank was bitter and left a burning trail as you swallowed it down your throat. However, your eyes and mind were focused on something completely different.

Across the room, there was a man you were looking for ever since you stepped into Cicero. He was bent over the pool table, successfully getting one ball into a hole after another, a beautiful brunette right next to him with her small hand on his back, holding his beer.

“You shouldn’t stare that much, y/n. He’ll see us,” Sam said from across the table you were sitting at as he sipped his beer. You looked at him for a second before circling your finger around the top of your glass.

“And what, Sam? It’s not like he will know who we are,” you mumbled and looked back at him. Sam bit his lips, leaning at the table.

“Look at him, y/n. We’ve been to Cicero three times by now. He’s happy, let him go,” he pointed into Dean’s direction, “Like I did.”

“I’m trying, I really do,” you looked at Dean who was now smiling at Lisa, his girlfriend for over a year, with his arm around her waist to hold her close, “but it seems like I just can’t move on.”

“I understand that it was a tough breakup but in our lifestyles, you can’t wish for happy endings.”

“There was no breakup,” you looked Sam coldly in the eyes, clenching your jaw, “he forgot me. He forgot I exist. He forgot you exist. Or Bobby, Cas, Jody, Crowley and everyone else. He just forgot.”

“Yeah, and according to doctors, the damage is fatal. No memories coming back, zero chance,” Sam raised his voice a little but still keeping it at an appropriate level, “Everyone managed to move on. Some harder than others but look at us now. We function. You are the only one who still struggles.”

You took a deep breath before swallowing the rest of your whiskey. You raised your hand, signalling a near waitress that you wanted another glass.

“Maybe I do struggle because I love him, Sam. The type of love you can’t forget,” you watched Dean kiss Lisa and continue to play pool as you talked.

His movements were fluent like he was a pro. Damn it, he was a pro. You remember the nights he spent up just to teach you to play and then you would play pool every night, him winning constantly. Sometimes you would go to bars, find drunken people and pretend to be even drunker so they would bet their money on winning in pool and then you would win the money. That’s a trick Dean taught you as well. It’s a good and funny way to earn some cash.

He won yet another round, laughing with his tipsy friends as they handed him the cash they just lost. You smiled from time to time as Dean got more balls into holes, using the technique he taught you. Sam sat quietly with you, his phone in his hands as he probably searched for other cases.

“It’s late, y/n. We should go to a motel,” Sam announced after another ten minutes of you watching Dean play and chat with his friends.

“M’not tired. You go, I’ll catch up later,” you waved him off. Sam got up, leaving you some of his money and left. You sat alone, memories of Dean floating in your head.

“Here’s your drink,” the waitress appeared out of nowhere with another glass of whiskey. You pulled out your wallet, giving her some money and taking Sam’s cash. She smiled at you and left to serve other visitors.

As you were closing your wallet, a picture fell on the table. You picked it up, biting your lip as you studied the photo in your hand. It was the picture of Dean and you in a park. He was standing behind you with his arm around your shoulders as his other hand was holding a beer. You both were smiling widely, Dean looking at the camera and you looking up at your boyfriend with adoration. One of your hands was around his waist as the other laid gently on his arm, squeezing it a little.

It was a hot summer day so you both wore just simple shirts and Dean sported a pair of dark sunglasses along with some older jeans because apparently, he hated shorts. You knew it wasn’t true, you saw him wearing them once in awhile but he would never wear them in public. He would always say it was for your eyes only.

You didn’t even realize there was a closed-lip smile on your face as you played the memory in your head.

You felt tears escaping your eyes. You quickly got up, rushing to the women’s room and looking into the mirror. Thankfully the small amount of mascara you wore didn’t get smudged. You took a few deep breaths, calming your nerves.

The doors opened as another woman came in. You didn’t pay attention to her before a kind voice said: “Are you okay?”

You turned your head only to be met with a pair of dark brown eyes. Lisa. You nervously swallowed and nodded, smiling a little to convince her more. She looked at you curiously but accepted your silent answer and went to one of the cubicles.

You fixed your shirt and let your hair fall over your shoulders, taking one last deep breath before making your way out of the room.

You made your way back to your table but saw someone already sat there so you decided that that was a signal for you to finally leave. You turned to walk away but accidentally bumped into someone’s back.

He turned around, the green eyes you love endlessly boring into yours. You stopped breathing as he furrowed his brows, looking down at you with confusion.

“I’m sorry,” he smiled after a while and stepped aside, making you a way. You let the breath you hold out, sighing in relief.

“Wait, do I know you?” he put his arm in front of you, stopping you. You bit your lip, your feelings starting to mix together. One side wanted so badly for Dean to remember you, remember his old life. However, the other side wanted nothing more than to get out of here unrecognized. Dean went through hell, literally, and deserved this and you didn’t want to ruin it for him. Possibly his only chance for a normal life.

“I-I don’t think so, mister,” you coughed a little, your throat closing from anxiousness. You had no idea that it’d be so hard for you to talk with him after so long.

“I know you,” he mumbled and you looked at him with wide eyes, not believing what was happening.

“Yeah, you were at Sid’s birthday party a few months ago. You a family member?” he said. You closed your eyes, wanting nothing more than to just get out of here before Lisa comes back. You looked into his eyes again, trying not to get lost in them as you usually would do when you used to lay with him in your bed, your naked body pressed against his, your head resting on his broad chest as you always looked up at him.

You quickly shook your head, getting the memories out before answering: “Oh, yeah. I’m…um…his niece. I’m in town for a few days only.”

“His niece? He’s never mentioned any siblings, let alone nieces or nephews,” Dean raised his eyebrows and sipped his beer, leaning against the table behind him, ready to have a conversation with you.

“Yeah, we’re kinda the forgotten part of his life,” you smiled a little, sadness taking over your features.

“I’m sorry, Dean, but I have to go, see you around,” you quickly said and rushed out of the bar in a second as you saw Lisa making her way towards both of you. Dean just shrugged before his eyes widened as he raised his eyebrows one more time, confusion and something like suspicion taking over him. He never told you his name, so how did you know it?


End file.
